Sarah Jane meets her sis!
Our despondent two year old
but Sarah Jane was far more traumatized at making Anna cry than hurt.) So while Sarah Jane adjusted to Anna's presence with grace and love, she turned all of her ire towards her parents (me in particular) and boy did she make us pay. Every single thing that we did became a huge fight. Every item of clothing, every shower, every bite of food, she fought all of it every step of the way. She struggled and kicked and screamed and manipulated us like a pro. She had a sixth sense for when I really, really needed her to take a nap and on those days, no naps. She knew when I was in a rush, and on those days, I would get all her clothes on and she would take them all off. It was really bad for about two months and then it was like she forgot that there was life before Anna and relaxed a bit. Also, we started doing time-outs and they really worked. Sarah Jane likes time-outs. She is usually sent into a separate room - the bathroom or the laundry room, where it is usually pretty dark. At first I would stay with her but quickly realized she didn't need me. She would stand facing the wall with her hands on the wall and her feet spread, like I was going to pat her down (for the record, SHE came up with that part) and she would just stay there until she told me she was ready to come out and be good. I would go get her and all would be better. Sometimes the better didn't last more than 45 seconds and sometimes we would have 8 timeouts in a row but she never seemed to mind and they eventually would do the trick. She often gave her dolls and stuffed animals timeouts and also Aunt Ellie frequently gets timeouts (but none of her other Aunts and Uncles.)
Riding the bike with Daddy during paternity leave
Happy to see Veronica and Brady, Anna was 10 days old
That's all I have to say about the dark times. It wasn't so much fun. But things are better now. There were some good parts to the dark times too. She successfully and absolutely painlessly made the transfer from the crib to her big girl bed in October. There was zero drama involved much to our utter shock. Additionally, Sarah Jane started school in September. She goes to Bari's three times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Bari is the mother of my high school friend Erica but we didn't know it when we signed her up. The aid there is a woman named Cynthia who was the aid in my second grade class. She calls me Abigail. She is also the mother of another girl I went to high school with. Berkeley is a small world. Sarah Jane LOVES her school. She didn't cry at all the first day I dropped her off and soon she was saying "Yay Teacher Bari! Yay Teacher Cynthia! Yay Kids! Yay Toys!" when we turned the corner off Euclid onto Cragmont on our way to school. In the Fall her favorite friend was Wesley but lately Wade and Ezra have been getting more attention. Ezra is a bit rough. Usually the question "what did you do at school today" involves some form of the answer "Ezra hit X, X cried, Ezra got a time out." In January Ezra gave Sarah Jane a black eye. Sarah Jane is very popular with the boys at school and is often mobbed by 5+ little boys when we walk in which freaks her out a bit. I hope this is not indicative of what is to come. The freak-out part is ok. The mobbing part I guess I will expect. She is beautiful. She also has girl friends at school, the best ones are Lily and Mia.
So moving onto 2 and a half... A typical day for Sarah Jane goes something like this: She wakes up between 6:30 and 7. She often reads quietly in her bed and comes in to our room when she hears us waking up. Sometimes she comes into our room before we are awake but sits quietly on the floor near our bed reading or playing with toys until we wake up. So polite! After we get up, she requests a bottle. She then gets a shower with mommy or daddy and chooses what she wants to wear (pants, jeans or a dress, she almost never chooses jeans.) She still likes to be wrapped up like a burrito with the towel but we don't usually sing the song anymore which is sad. I like the song. At about 8 we go downstairs for breakfast. If we wait for even just a few minutes after 8, she has a total melt down. For breakfast she has oatmeal with raisins and a tiny bit of brown sugar and sometimes bananas. Lately she has been finishing it all (for the first part of "2" she ate about every 4th meal no matter what we did, now her appetite is back.) When she cleans her plate she gets the clean plate award ("Ding ding ding, clean plate award!" (with a point at the awardee.)) That always gets a big grin. After breakfast we load into the car and head to Bari's or to our play date. I pick Sarah Jane up from school at 1:30 and we come straight home and are in bed by 2. For a while she was really fighting the naps but now she goes down happily. She sleeps for a long time, sometimes until 5, and she is usually VERY grumpy when she wakes up. She has a second bottle when she wakes up (still 4oz, heated up 22 seconds exactly.) I try to get her outside though in the dark winter we haven't been so successful at that. She either is grumpy all the way to dinner or snaps out of it if we can figure out a way to distract her (a visit to the park, a visit from Aunt Whitney, a puzzle or drawing all sometimes work.) I try to get her to have a snack when she wakes up as sometimes that helps too. She has dinner at 6pm, and no longer has a complete melt down if she doesn't eat EXACTLY at 6pm. She goes to bed at 7:30 though usually that gets stretched to 8 and she stays awake in bed for a long time.
Being goofy at Totland
We used to have very elaborate night time routine; we read at least two books, sang two songs (Moon song and Campfire song - in that order, though sometimes we switched it up with Swing Low and she often asked for Ellie's song but I don't know what song that is.) Then I had to tell her the sleep boat story which went something like this: You've been playing outside all day at your castle. Why do you have a castle? Because you are a princess. Now it's time to go to bed so you go inside your castle and go upstairs and change into your PJ's - No way! You have PJ's on too?, You brush your teeth - Really??? you just brushed your teeth too? Then you go downstairs and outside the front door of the castle and you go down down down the stairs. It's dark outside but there are candles on the stairs so you can see. The air is cold but the stairs are warm on your feet because the sun has been shining on them all day. At the bottom of the stairs is a big lake. And in the lake is a little boat and it's the sleep boat! In the sleep boat is a bed, a BIG GIRL BED! just like yours and an old black dog with a white star on his chest named Rufus and he's there to keep you safe. (Just like your pillow.) You climb into the boat and into the bed and get all snuggly with Rufus and then we cast off and you float out into the middle of the lake and you rock rock rock and look up at the stars and the moon and the dark sky and then you close your eyes and you drift off to sleep.
Bed time lately has gotten much more efficient. We put Anna down at 7 and then Sarah Jane and I and sometimes Daddy if he is home, have a bit of alone time which is nice. We put her PJs on downstairs and then come upstairs to brush her teeth. Then we go into our room and read a book on our bed. Lately we've been reading The Tomten every night. She often likes to parallel read where I read one book and she reads another book at the same time. She is very curious about reading and has asked me how to read several times. She knows a bunch of her books well enough to say some of the right words on the right pages but usually when she "reads" she makes a sing-songy mumbling sound that sounds suspiciously like my voice. After the Tomten we carry her into her room and we do NOT tuck her in. She likes to go to sleep on top of the bed and I usually tuck her in right before I go to sleep but invariably she ends up with her head down at the foot of the bed, outside the covers by morning.
Sarah Jane almost always makes it through the night in her own bed but maybe 2 nights a week she has a bad dream sometime around 3am and requires a very quick soothing. She usually isn't really even awake, just needs a parent to run in and tuck her in and tell her she's ok. Sometimes if Anna is very loud or if the dream is very bad, she comes in and sleeps on the floor in our room. I always try to set her up with a nice soft blanket and make it cozy but she invariably ends up on the hard floor where she sleeps splayed out face down. It doesn't seem to bother her.
A - Anna
B - Brady
C - Aunt Kiki
H - Hoverman (This one she actually says "H for Hoverman," the other ones just get the owner)
P - Papa
S - MINE! (She knows it's an S)
T - Thomas
V - Veronica
W - Aunt Whitney (often confused with Mommy's which is understandable)
Z - Zeke
Sarah Jane is at a very fun stage. Two and a half is almost rational, able to communicate, cuddly, affectionate, at times cooperative, helpful, loving, clean, silly and smart. It just keeps getting better and better!
That's all I have to say about the dark times. It wasn't so much fun. But things are better now. There were some good parts to the dark times too. She successfully and absolutely painlessly made the transfer from the crib to her big girl bed in October. There was zero drama involved much to our utter shock. Additionally, Sarah Jane started school in September. She goes to Bari's three times a week, Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Bari is the mother of my high school friend Erica but we didn't know it when we signed her up. The aid there is a woman named Cynthia who was the aid in my second grade class. She calls me Abigail. She is also the mother of another girl I went to high school with. Berkeley is a small world. Sarah Jane LOVES her school. She didn't cry at all the first day I dropped her off and soon she was saying "Yay Teacher Bari! Yay Teacher Cynthia! Yay Kids! Yay Toys!" when we turned the corner off Euclid onto Cragmont on our way to school. In the Fall her favorite friend was Wesley but lately Wade and Ezra have been getting more attention. Ezra is a bit rough. Usually the question "what did you do at school today" involves some form of the answer "Ezra hit X, X cried, Ezra got a time out." In January Ezra gave Sarah Jane a black eye. Sarah Jane is very popular with the boys at school and is often mobbed by 5+ little boys when we walk in which freaks her out a bit. I hope this is not indicative of what is to come. The freak-out part is ok. The mobbing part I guess I will expect. She is beautiful. She also has girl friends at school, the best ones are Lily and Mia.
Photo shoot with Anna, 3 weeks
First first day of school. Total meltdown.
Meeting the chickens with Uncle Nat
On Wednesdays and Fridays we tried to have play dates either with Emma who went to Bari's for a couple of weeks or with Brady. We usually saw Brady on Fridays and we alternated going into the city or having the Chuns come here. In the dark times Brady and Sarah Jane were not getting a long very well. They would squeal with delight for the first 10 minutes and there would be lots of hugs and holding hands but then someone would hug too much or a toy wouldn't be shared and we would disintegrate into fighting, hair pulling, kicking, pushing and biting. Not great. A timeout would fix it temporarily but we had a two hour limit on visits.
Big sister Sarah Jane at an outing in the city with the Chuns
So moving onto 2 and a half... A typical day for Sarah Jane goes something like this: She wakes up between 6:30 and 7. She often reads quietly in her bed and comes in to our room when she hears us waking up. Sometimes she comes into our room before we are awake but sits quietly on the floor near our bed reading or playing with toys until we wake up. So polite! After we get up, she requests a bottle. She then gets a shower with mommy or daddy and chooses what she wants to wear (pants, jeans or a dress, she almost never chooses jeans.) She still likes to be wrapped up like a burrito with the towel but we don't usually sing the song anymore which is sad. I like the song. At about 8 we go downstairs for breakfast. If we wait for even just a few minutes after 8, she has a total melt down. For breakfast she has oatmeal with raisins and a tiny bit of brown sugar and sometimes bananas. Lately she has been finishing it all (for the first part of "2" she ate about every 4th meal no matter what we did, now her appetite is back.) When she cleans her plate she gets the clean plate award ("Ding ding ding, clean plate award!" (with a point at the awardee.)) That always gets a big grin. After breakfast we load into the car and head to Bari's or to our play date. I pick Sarah Jane up from school at 1:30 and we come straight home and are in bed by 2. For a while she was really fighting the naps but now she goes down happily. She sleeps for a long time, sometimes until 5, and she is usually VERY grumpy when she wakes up. She has a second bottle when she wakes up (still 4oz, heated up 22 seconds exactly.) I try to get her outside though in the dark winter we haven't been so successful at that. She either is grumpy all the way to dinner or snaps out of it if we can figure out a way to distract her (a visit to the park, a visit from Aunt Whitney, a puzzle or drawing all sometimes work.) I try to get her to have a snack when she wakes up as sometimes that helps too. She has dinner at 6pm, and no longer has a complete melt down if she doesn't eat EXACTLY at 6pm. She goes to bed at 7:30 though usually that gets stretched to 8 and she stays awake in bed for a long time.
Being goofy at Totland
Halloween parade on Chestnut Street with Brady
We used to have very elaborate night time routine; we read at least two books, sang two songs (Moon song and Campfire song - in that order, though sometimes we switched it up with Swing Low and she often asked for Ellie's song but I don't know what song that is.) Then I had to tell her the sleep boat story which went something like this: You've been playing outside all day at your castle. Why do you have a castle? Because you are a princess. Now it's time to go to bed so you go inside your castle and go upstairs and change into your PJ's - No way! You have PJ's on too?, You brush your teeth - Really??? you just brushed your teeth too? Then you go downstairs and outside the front door of the castle and you go down down down the stairs. It's dark outside but there are candles on the stairs so you can see. The air is cold but the stairs are warm on your feet because the sun has been shining on them all day. At the bottom of the stairs is a big lake. And in the lake is a little boat and it's the sleep boat! In the sleep boat is a bed, a BIG GIRL BED! just like yours and an old black dog with a white star on his chest named Rufus and he's there to keep you safe. (Just like your pillow.) You climb into the boat and into the bed and get all snuggly with Rufus and then we cast off and you float out into the middle of the lake and you rock rock rock and look up at the stars and the moon and the dark sky and then you close your eyes and you drift off to sleep.
Sarah Jane LOVES to cheers! (Christmas 2009, one of her 4 Christmas outfits)
Bed time lately has gotten much more efficient. We put Anna down at 7 and then Sarah Jane and I and sometimes Daddy if he is home, have a bit of alone time which is nice. We put her PJs on downstairs and then come upstairs to brush her teeth. Then we go into our room and read a book on our bed. Lately we've been reading The Tomten every night. She often likes to parallel read where I read one book and she reads another book at the same time. She is very curious about reading and has asked me how to read several times. She knows a bunch of her books well enough to say some of the right words on the right pages but usually when she "reads" she makes a sing-songy mumbling sound that sounds suspiciously like my voice. After the Tomten we carry her into her room and we do NOT tuck her in. She likes to go to sleep on top of the bed and I usually tuck her in right before I go to sleep but invariably she ends up with her head down at the foot of the bed, outside the covers by morning.
Fun at the pool in Florida with GG and GreatPapa
Four Generations in Florida
Sarah Jane's favorite activities include puzzles (which she is very good at, particularly the animal one Aunt Whitney gave her for Christmas and the alphabet one), playing with Anna, talking to the chickens (as long as they are in the coop), running (after Aunt Ellie or Daddy), playing with the trains, drawing, typing letters on the computer or my blackberry and reading books. Preferably the same book over and over. While she isn't so good at numbers (she can count but it's more like a song, anything over two is "a lot" and she doesn't recognize any numbers except "the number eight" which is always said that way, all three words, like they are one word), she is VERY good at letters. She recognizes the following uppercase letters as they "belong" to the following people:
A - Anna
B - Brady
C - Aunt Kiki
D - Daddy
E - Aunt Ellie
G - GG and GrandmaH - Hoverman (This one she actually says "H for Hoverman," the other ones just get the owner)
I - Imani (friend from school)
J - MINE!
L - Sometimes Lilly sometimes Laurie
M - Mommy, working on Uncles Matt and Mike
N - Nana, working on Uncle NatP - Papa
S - MINE! (She knows it's an S)
T - Thomas
V - Veronica
W - Aunt Whitney (often confused with Mommy's which is understandable)
Z - Zeke
For those of you that are counting that is 18 out of 26 or 70% of the alphabet. She sees the letters everywhere; when we are reading books, on my blackberry, on signs when we are driving and on the computer.
She has just recently, maybe in the last three weeks, started stringing more than one sentence or phrase together such as "Daddy I miss you, you no go to work?" or actually putting sentences together correctly such as "This is my seat" (vs. "mine" or "my seat".) Her whole approach to communication has changed. She could talk in brief sentences but most things were short phrases ("buy mato and cumbers") but now she can tell a whole story with no pauses for prompting in between sentences. For instance, the other day on the way home from school I heard that Wesley dropped his lunch on the floor and he cried and Teacher Bari threw away the lunch because it was dirty but Wesley ate something else instead.
Sarah Jane playing in the ocean in Hawaii in February. Note: NO waves
Another new development is extreme separation anxiety, which arrived just in time for my return to work. The week after we returned from Florida, so at the end of February, Sarah Jane was unable to attend school because she got hysterical every time we tried to drop her off. This from a girl who never once cried, not even the first day when we left her. She also started crying when Elizabeth showed up. She says "Mommy no go away" or "Mommy go work?" frequently. Dave thinks because she knows she's getting to me but I think she's being sincere. Maybe a mix of both. It definitely gets to me! She has always been scared of certain things but those fears are now very dramatic. Things she is scared of include trains, waves, dogs including Pickle, the chickens, cows, goats, lions (real and plastic), car washes and strange people. That is not an exhaustive list. She becomes quite hysterical at the sight of any of those things and entirely non-rationale. We have no idea what the correct response is and are muddling through the best we can. If she remains scared of plastic lions when she's 18 then I will know we did it wrong.
The other thing that produces extreme anxiety is the potty. Sarah Jane has complete control over her bladder. She often goes for hours with no diaper, but she absolutely refuses to go to the bathroom in the toilet. We have tried Jelly Beans (1 for trying, 2 for peepee, 3 for poopoo), forcing the issue by withholding diapers, multiple potties, potty seats and potty training books. She will sit for a VERY long time on the potty "trying" but nothing ever comes out. When she really has to pee she demands a diaper, I put it on, she pees in it and then she takes it off and gives it back to me. The other girls at school are starting to make progress, and Brady is fully trained, so I'm hoping the peer pressure will kick in soon. I've pretty much had it with two year old poops.
One of my favorite memories of Sarah Jane from this period in time is from November when I woke up from a nap, Sarah Jane cupping my chin in her little hands with her face inches from mine cooing very softly"cockadoodle doooooooo, cockadoodle dooooooooooo." Another favorite thing she has done is to name Anna "Beebana." It has caught on. Also, for the record, Sarah Jane can type "8" on my Blackberry by holding down the shift key and hitting the 8 button. I think that is fairly advanced. Speaking of the Blackberry, Sarah Jane loves to talk on the phone. Another one of my favorite things that she does is "show" the person she is speaking with on the phone what she is doing, i.e., holds the phone up to "see" her dinner or her toy or a book we are reading. She has utter faith that whoever she is talking with can see it and everyone she talks to plays along.
Hawaii in February
Sarah Jane is at a very fun stage. Two and a half is almost rational, able to communicate, cuddly, affectionate, at times cooperative, helpful, loving, clean, silly and smart. It just keeps getting better and better!
Abby you are a wonderful writer and wonderful mom. I believe you captured your little Sarah Jane to a T (T for Thomas?).
ReplyDeleteI am proud of you!
Your mom.