Got up to feed baby at 1am. Tried to turn on light but found it unplugged as husband apparently thought charging toothbrush more important than light for feeding baby. Stubbed toe in dark and unable to find slippers. Asked husband for help. Received no response as husband turned over and arranged pillows more comfortably in sleep. Silently contemplated ways to punish slumbering husband as fed baby in dark. Finished feeding and changed baby by 1:20. Was hopeful for sleep. Put sleeping, fed, burped, changed and swaddled baby in bassinette. Baby suddenly wide awake. Picked up now crying baby and sat rocking in dark. Baby feel asleep. Husband suddenly leaps out of bed and yells "What?" at 1:35 in apparently delayed response to plea for light 35 minutes prior. Baby wakes up. Husband returns to sleep immediately. Not sure he actually woke up. Attempted bassinette two more times. Failed. Finally reverted to swing in living room and curled up on couch. Baby cried in swing. Unable to remove myself from couch. Husband appears at 2:10 and suggests I feed now hungry again baby. As usual he is right. Baby falls asleep, husband redeems himself by sitting on couch with me and patting back. No longer angry about toothbrush charging. Baby successfully placed in bassinette at 2:20.
Baby wakes up at 4:00. Repeat experience above. Baby asleep in bassinette at 5:00.
Baby wakes up at 5:40. Apparently swaddle not successful as baby is now uncovered and freezing and, of course, hungry. Fed baby. Unable to face bassinette battle. Crawl into bed with baby at risk of alerting SIDS police. Balance myself carefully so as not to squish her. Baby falls fast asleep. I promise myself I will get up and start day in 10 minutes. Suddenly it is 7:30. Fortunately baby is not squished.
Bathe and clothe baby and self with assistance of husband. Pump. Cleanse pump gear. Attempt to put engagement and wedding ring on. Fingers still too fat. Load baby and husband into car for trip downtown to Bain to fix broken computer.
Make it to Bain, park and put baby in the stroller and up the elevator. Requires three elevator rides. Difficult to get stroller into full elevators. Get computer fixed and visit with people, baby still asleep. Print out address labels for baby announcements and return address labels for announcements AND Christmas cards. Feel very accomplished.
Return down three elevators. Put baby back in car, no longer asleep.
Drive to Wholefoods. Baby screaming entire way. Feed baby in parking lot and change her. Nearly have fist fight over parking spot as woman tries to park in adjacent spot while busy changing baby. Pleasant. Attempt to put baby in sling twice for shopping expedition but have to abort due to danger of being arrested for child abuse due to volume of screaming. Put baby back into car feeling like dismal failure.
Drive home. While in car panic that pediatrician appointment was today. Call 411 to get dr. number. Call doctor. Pediatrician appointment next Tuesday.
Arrive home. Unload car (2 trips), put laundry in dryer. Carry baby upstairs, still feeling like dismal failure. Decide need coffee (still had not had bfast).
Carry baby downstairs. Set up stroller. Walk to grocery store. Buy food for sandwiches and tuna noodle casserole. Hang groceries from carabineer on stroller. Requires delicate balance to not launch baby like catapult through air. Walk to starbucks. On way, noticed sign in Baby Gap window indicating sale. Enter Baby Gap. Spend too much money. Leave feeling like dismal failure for spending too much money. Resolve to return purchased items.
Walk to Starbucks. Purchase Mocha. Leave with mocha. Spill mocha into bag of clothing on way home in middle of Lombard street. No longer resolved to return clothing.
Carry groceries and chocolaty clothing upstairs. Carry dried laundry upstairs. Carry baby upstairs. Put groceries away.
Sat on couch. Fed baby. Baby smiles. All is worth while. Then baby pees, overflows diaper and soaks my only pair of clean pants that still fit. Change baby. Change self. Return to couch. Baby throws up all over my formerly clean shirt on return trip to couch.
Sitting on couch. Covered in milk. Resolve to remain here indefinitely.
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